```json
{
    "title": "More Random Tom Waits",
    "url": "https://performancezen.com/2005/10/18/more-random-tom-waits/",
    "datePublished": "2005-10-18",
    "dateModified": "2005-10-18",
    "language": "en-US",
    "description": "For lack of anything intelligent to say right now... Step Right Up Tom Waits from Small Change Step right up step right up step right up Everyone's a winner, bargains…",
    "author": "spierzchala",
    "publisher": "Performance Zen"
}
```

# More Random Tom Waits

For lack of anything intelligent to say right now...

> **Step Right Up**
> **Tom Waits**
> from *[Small Change](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000002GY9/ref%3Dnosim/performance03-20/)*
> Step right up
> step right up
> step right up
> Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
> That's right, you too can be the proud owner
> Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
> One-tenth of a dollar
> one-tenth of a dollar
> we got service after sales
> You need perfume? we got perfume
> how 'bout an engagement ring?
> Something for the little lady
> something for the little lady
> Something for the little lady, hmm
> Three for a dollar
> We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
> And a smoke-damaged furniture
> you can drive it away today
> Act now, act now
> and receive as our gift, our gift to you
> They come in all colors, one size fits all
> No muss, no fuss, no spills
> you're tired of kitchen drudgery
> Everything must go
> going out of business
> going out of business
> Going out of business sale
> Fifty percent off original retail price
> skip the middle man
> Don't settle for less
> How do we do it?
> how do we do it?
> volume, volume, turn up the volume
> Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
> Don't be caught with your drawers down
> Don't be caught with your drawers down
> You can step right up, step right up
> That's right, it filets, it chops
> It dices, slices, never stops
> lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
> And it mows your lawn
> and it picks up the kids from school
> It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
> it gets rid of embarrassing age spots
> It delivers a pizza
> and it lengthens, and it strengthens
> And it finds that slipper that's been at large
> under the chaise longe for several weeks
> And it plays a mean Rhythm Master
> It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
> And it's only a dollar, step right up
> it's only a dollar, step right up
> 'Cause it forges your signature.
> If not completely satisfied
> mail back unused portion of product
> For complete refund of price of purchase
> Step right up
> Please allow thirty days for delivery
> don't be fooled by cheap imitations
> You can live in it, live in it
> laugh in it, love in it
> Swim in it, sleep in it
> Live in it, swim in it
> laugh in it, love in it
> Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets
> that's right
> And it entertains visiting relatives
> it turns a sandwich into a banquet
> Tired of being the life of the party?
> Change your shorts
> change your life
> change your life
> Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy
> get rid of your wife
> And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
> Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack
> see you later alligator
> See you later alligator
> And it steals your car
> It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
> It's a friend, and it's a companion
> And it's the only product you will ever need
> Follow these easy assembly instructions
> it never needs ironing
> Well it takes weights off hips, bust
> thighs, chin, midriff
> Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job
> it is a job
> And it strips the phone company free
> take ten for five exchange
> And it gives you denture breath
> And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
> And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
> It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
> Well it takes care of business
> never needs winding
> Never needs winding
> never needs winding
> Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis
> Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy
> C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
> 'Cause it's effective, it's defective
> it creates household odors
> It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
> It gives you an erection
> it wins the election
> Why put up with painful corns any longer?
> It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation
> no salesman will visit your home
> We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot
> prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
> How do we do it
> how do we do it
> how do we do it
> how do we do it
> We need your business
> we're going out of business
> We'll give you the business
> Get on the business
> end of our going-out-of-business sale
> Receive our free brochure, free brochure
> Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions
> batteries not included
> Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available
> Step right up
> step right up
> step right up
> You got it buddy: the large print giveth
> and the small print taketh away
> Step right up
> you can step right up
> you can step right up
> C'mon step right up
> (Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
> Step right up, step right up, step right up
> c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
> Step right up
> you can step right up
> c'mon and step right up
> C'mon and step right up