```json
{
    "title": "Songs That Won’t Die: Make…It…Stop!",
    "url": "https://performancezen.com/2005/09/16/songs-that-wont-die-makeitstop/",
    "datePublished": "2005-09-16",
    "dateModified": "2005-09-16",
    "language": "en-US",
    "description": "Now it's your turn to suffer with this. CEMETARY POLKA Tom Waits Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon Independent as a hog on ice He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse…",
    "author": "spierzchala",
    "publisher": "Performance Zen"
}
```

# Songs That Won’t Die: Make…It…Stop!

Now it's your turn to suffer with this.

> ***CEMETARY POLKA*
> Tom Waits**
> Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon
> Independent as a hog on ice
> He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse
> Plays accordion for Mister Weiss
> Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William
> Made a million during World War II
> But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates
> And they'll never give a dime to you
> Auntie Mame has gone insane
> She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
> And the radio is playing opera
> All she ever says is go to Hell
> Uncle Violet flew as pilot
> And there ain't no pretty girls in France
> Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
> They say he never keeps it in his pants
> Uncle Bill will never leave a will
> And the tumour is as big as an egg
> Has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican
> And I heard she has a wooden leg
> Uncle Phil can't live without his pills
> He has emphysema and he's almost blind
> And we must find out where the money is
> Get it now before he loses his mind
> Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon
> Independent as a hog on ice
> He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse
> He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Buy

*[Rain Dogs](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000001FFJ/ref%3Dnosim/performance03-20/104-1618660-0434312)*

. End my suffering.