What do you mean you don't think this way?

One of the lengthy conversations I have had with my wife as I work my way through understanding how my bipolar works and affects my life focused on how I think, and see the world.

I am just now coming to terms with the fact that the filters I process my world through are radically different than those that most people use. This is a breakthrough for me, as I assumed that everyone saw the world as I did and do.

A lot of this comes from my family. Both sides of my family are rife with bipolar and schizophrenia. My mother has it; my father had it to a lesser degree. My family was unusual because of this. Not dysfunctional; just differently functional.

My wife filters the world in a logical, linear way. Imagine one of those orderly mass protests you see on the news. Lots of people, lots of noise, but everyone moving in the same direction, headed for the same goal.

Then there’s me. I filter the world as if there was a riot going on. People running everywhere, throwing rocks, Molotov cocktails, screaming. Troops in vehicles rushing through spraying water cannons. But occasionally, one side or the other gathers enough strength to achieve a small tactical victory, push the other side back a little.

When you step back and look at those of us who have bipolar, remember that we see your world very differently. And it is your world, designed to preserve order and organization, protect you from the “madness” in our minds.

6 Replies to “What do you mean you don't think this way?”

  1. I like that phrase “differently functional”
    We all function more or less. I quite enjoy being a bit less mainstream.
    Adding you to my blogroll for future reference.
    (hope you don’t mind)

  2. I like that phrase “differently functional”We all function more or less. I quite enjoy being a bit less mainstream.Adding you to my blogroll for future reference. (hope you don’t mind)

  3. Gods I can relate. My best example when explaining to people is going into a casino. Normal brains go “weee! Fun!” Mine gibbers like a little girl.

  4. Gods I can relate. My best example when explaining to people is going into a casino. Normal brains go “weee! Fun!” Mine gibbers like a little girl.

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