RESUMES SUCK!

#### Start Rant
I have an online resume. I can get you it in several forms.
However, if you are hiring me because of what you see in that piece of paper…
I DON’T WANT TO WORK FOR YOUR COMPANY!
Lisa Haneberg posted a great article on this today.
The problem with me and my resume is that there is no way to capture what I can do or what I know on a piece of paper. I have a non-linear mind and am a technical person with an artistic temperment. I do not fit into your neat little corporate boxes. I am not org-chart friendly.
I flame most recruiters, because they haven’t taken the time to note that (and this is on all of my resumes, no matter where I post them):

  1. I am a Canadian living in the US and working on an H1-B
  2. I am ONLY entertaining offers from companies on the West Coast

Most recruiters are stupid, at least in my mind. They are desperately clinging to a niche where, like Wile E. Coyote, the ground on which they stand has evaporated.
The great thig is that I know the companies that I want to work for. But I also know that these companies never even look at me because their HR “process” is designed to weed out independent-minded, intelligent, experienced, non-linear thinkers. They want young, fresh mind-slaves.
Am I bitter and angry? Yeah. Why? Because every manager I have had has said the same thing to me, repeatedly: “You are great and your knowledge is astounding, but we don’t know how to use you effectively because you don’t fit into an org-chart box”.
You know what not fitting into an org-chart box has done to me career? Limited my exposure to clients, locked me out of the strategic decision-making process, prevented me from assisting with infrastructure design and assessment, and seen career-advancement promise after promise fall by the wayside.
I am looking for a company who wants me and will let me have business cards with NO TITLE ON THEM.
I am what I know, not what you, the company, tell people I do.
#### End rant


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2 Replies to “RESUMES SUCK!”

  1. Your resume has a typo in the first paragraph…
    “to develop their ability TO define”
    Maybe you should be less bitter and get someone to help you proofread your resume?
    But I understand your angst. Afterall, I typed “resumes suck” in my google bar.
    Good luck.

  2. “to develop their ability TO define”Maybe you should be less bitter and get someone to help you proofread your resume?But I understand your angst. Afterall, I typed “resumes suck” in my google bar.Good luck.

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