Database Abuse: Fun you can have without the optimizer

You know it’s going to be a good day when the DBA comes up to you and says:
“You know those really huge and stupid queries that we always yell at you about? Well, we have some database hardware in place and we thought of you as someone who could stress the system.”
Fast hardware. Fast Drives. And a query headed quickly towards the 2-3 million row count and 10 minutes of running time.
I love abusing hardware.

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